Mr. Best Sex Ever (BSE)

Just when I post about not recycling men, guess what I go and do? Yup. And it gets even worse. So here's the back story. About 2 years ago, I met a guy that I worked with and we traveled together. In the beginning, it was purely platonic and I never saw him in any romantic way. Then one day, after a couple glasses of wine, I decided I wanted him! Really badly! At the time I was with my boyfriend, but there was something about this guy that magically drew me to him. That night, we messed around but did not have sex. It was the first time I had ever cheated on anyone but for some reason, it felt so right with him. For the next 2 weeks, we ended up having sex almost every night in each other's hotel rooms. It was the best sex I had ever experienced. I remember after the first time we had sex, my body trembled. And the next day at work, just the sight of him made me quiver (in a good way). Having sex with him was on my mind 24/7 to the point where other people commented on my lack of focus. We had such amazing sexual chemistry and he knew how to arouse the hell out of me. I still remember this one time, we were getting out of the elevator, and he threw me up against the wall and started making out with me and feeling me up right there. I thought we were going to do it right then and there, in the middle of a hotel hallway! He was my best sex ever (Mr. BSE).

So for a few weeks after that when we came back to NYC, we were still having sex whenever I could get away for a minute. But things got messy when I started having feelings for him and wanted to leave my boyfriend for him. At which time, he decided to get back with his ex-girlfriend. I was devastated and heartbroken. I couldn't eat for days and I just stayed in bed for literally 3-4 days at a time. I think it was a combination of losing someone I thought I really liked and the guilt of cheating on my boyfriend. I vowed to never see him again.

Fast forward to Friday night. It's been 2 years and I've finally gotten over BSE after meeting Sporting Goods. So, it couldn't be any more interesting when BSE contacted me to hang out the Friday after Mr. SG and I break up. We've slowly started hanging out about 3 months ago so I knew I no longer had feelings for him. Besides, he's still with the girlfriend. We decide to meet at my favorite bar in the West Village and we have great conversation. Besides the sex that we had, BSE and I really do have a great connection. I can't deny that. You know, there are just some people that you'll always like being around no matter what.

After the bar, we decide to meet up with some of his friends. At this point I'm wasted but I don't anticipate anything. I'm just happy. BSE hasn't tried anything so it's all good. Until...after the bar closes and his friends leave. He's sitting outside and we're talking foolish drunk talk. If I remember correctly, he motions for me to sit on his lap. Uh oh. This is actually how it all started the first time, 2 years ago. BSE then tells me that I'm amazing and that I deserve someone great. We look into each other's eyes...he leans in...and I meet him. There we are, back to where we were 2 years ago. Making out like nothing had changed.

Things get a little hot and heavy and he asks if we should go back to his place or my place. Knowing that he lives with his girlfriend (who apparently must be out of town), I suggest my place. We make out in the cab, we make out when we get out of the cab, we make out in front of my apartment building, we make out once we get into my building, he starts taking off my clothes before we even go up the stairs. We get into my apartment and it's on like Donkey Kong. Clothes are flying and body parts are rubbing. BSE goes down on me with what felt like the best oral sex I've ever had (which is a lot for me to say because I don't normally like oral sex). I then reciprocate by giving him what I think was probably the best BJ I've ever given. He couldn't let me perform it for long because he was about to burst. So he puts on a condom and we're full on fucking. I tell him that I've missed his cock, and he says, "I've been thinking about this for the past 2 years." When I say BSE has been my best sex ever, I mean he seriously has been my BEST SEX EVER. Sure, I've had amazing sex before with people I have had a serious emotional connection with, but with BSE, it's straight up an amazing fuck.

The next day, I wake up in BSE's arms and we fuck again with me lying belly side up on top of him while he stimulates my clit, then with me straddling him until we both come at the same time. He then says, "That was amazing." Yes it was. BSE collects his things and leaves for work. I have no fantasies about us dating or anything, but the thought of him makes me wet.

Later, we discuss what happened and agree that we should not hang out one-on-one at night anymore. We also admit to each other that we are very sexually compatible and that we often fantasize about sex with each other. Although I'm not super proud of what I did, at least now I know that our attraction is purely sexual and there's no danger of entering the emotional mess that I was in 2 years ago.

And at the end of the day, the best sex ever still couldn't get my mind off of Sporting Goods.

Recycling Men

I used to be the girl who would constantly run back to my ex's after a breakup. My last year in college, I re-slept with all of the boyfriends I had ever had (yes, even the high school bf). After college, I even tried re-starting an old relationship. This time, though, I have a brand new outlook. I will NOT go back to any of my old hook ups, as easy and tempting as is. And that leads me to last night.

I decid to go to one of my favorite bars with a girlfriend so we could catch up and dance out some stress. As I am walking back from the restroom, I run into Mr. Brooklyn! Remember? The 22-year-old fuck buddy I had when I first started dating? So just a little more back story, Brooklyn had been texting me while I was dating SG. He always wanted to come over and called me a "heartbreaker." Anyway, I ignored his texts. So last night, I was a little shocked to see him but give him a hug anyway. Brooklyn's looking good, even cuter than I wanted to admit. He immediately says, "I haven't heard from you in a while." I say, "I thought you didn't hang out at this bar anymore" (this is the bar where we first met where he claims he stopped going to). His response: "I don't. Just decided to come today." And I say, "The truth is you came today because you were hoping for the chance to run into me." Whatta bitch I am.

Later in the night, Brooklyn and I are dancing on the dance floor and he then asks me to go smoke a cigarette with him outside. He leads me around the corner and says, "You know I don't smoke. I just want to make out with you." He then grabs me and we engage in some raw tonguing that is, well, like making out with a 22-year-old. Haha. He then starts to put his hand down my tights and that's when I start getting turned off. I mean, really?! He wants to finger me out in the open in front of a fucking bar? No thanks. I start walking away and he says, "Yue, do I get the privilege of sleeping in your bed tonight." "Nope" I respond without hesitation. He then says, "Then, don't dance with me anymore." "OK."

We go back inside and I start dancing with my friend. Brooklyn decides to buy us shots. Still, I know I'm not sleeping with him. He then tells me, "You broke my heart" as he motions a twisting knife to his heart. Half an hour later, I see him making out with some little blond girl. I also see him taking her home (well probably taking her to her place since he does still live with mommy and daddy).

Anyway, the point is, I feel like a changed woman! I'm not going to revert back to my old conquests because there are good reasons why they never developed into anything more. So, no more recycling of the old, because it's all about the new!

Mr. Married Man (MM)

That's right, you read the title correctly. Before you judge, don't you want to hear the story first? My friend invited me out to hang out one night. She had a rich guy friend in town and he wanted some girls around. I figured why not, I wanted to get my mind off of the SG breakup. I show up at a fancy schmancy hotel bar and meet the guy friend who is married with 2 kids. I immediately know he is off limits. Mr. Married Man (MM for short) is a former college basketball player. Very tall with a charming face. He is charismatic, smart, and very open-minded. Maybe a little too open-minded. As the night progresses, MM tells me that him and his wife have a very good marriage because of their mutual agreement: have fun as long as you don't bring home a child, a disease, or a scandal. Hmmm, sounds like an open relationship to me.

At the end of the night, he offers to drop me off at my apartment before heading to his hotel. However, we decide to continue drinking at my neighborhood bar. The conversation is fantastic and there is nothing sleazy going on. MM is just a fascinating person with a great point-of-view. We close down the bar and he asks to come over to my apartment in a "non-sexual way" to continue our conversation. At this point, I'm wasted and horny, and I've already decided that we're going to hook up.

We get to my apartment and he motions for me to lie next to him in my bed. There's a little bit cuddling and then progresses into touching. His one hand is feeling my ass while the other one is down my tube top. I am thoroughly turned on and I start grinding on top of him. Now, if my memory serves me right, I give him a hand job underneath his jeans. Although MM is clearly turned on, he doesn't make a move to kiss me and I'm not about to kiss him. So as a result, we engage in some elementary fondling. I then have to go to the restroom and when I return, MM has turned on all of my lights and is headed out. He says, "I don't want to do anything we would regret later." He also says, "I can't believe that guy (SG) didn't fight for you."

I can't say I'm not completely guilty about what I did, but again, this is called REBOUND. So I just happen to rebound with a married man. Not like you've never thought about it.

The End of Sporting Goods

Yes, I know it has been a long time since I've updated you guys about my dating (mis)adventures. Let me save you from the boring details and give you a brief synopsis of what has been going on. Basically, I fell hard for Sporting Goods. I put him on a pedestal and I wanted to do everything to keep him around. I stopped seeing other people and devoted all of my time and energy to SG. He, on the other hand, did not feel the same intensity towards me. Or at least, I don't think. He was very hot and cold and would one day treat me like a girlfriend and the next day treat me like a casual friend. I couldn't deal with the emotional roller coaster anymore so it all boiled down to the day before Valentine's Day, when I told him the frustrations that I was feeling. He gave a half-assed attempt to salvage things but then finally admitted that he was just not sure about me. He told me that he had not been seeing other people and was exclusive in his mind, but he couldn't verbalize it because he was afraid his feelings would change. What it sounded like was the fact that he was not willing to risk his feelings to be with me. I knew I had to end it there because I deserve someone who is willing to fight for me, put themselves out there for me, risk their heart for me. Because frankly, I was willing to do all that for him.

So, all in all, it was a fantastic 2 months with SG that taught me a lot. The breakup has been extremely hard and I'm trying to take it one day at a time. But the best thing out of this whole thing is the fact that I know I have the capability to REALLY like someone. I've never felt this way about anyone before and although it hurts now, it felt so good in the moment.

For those of you who are curious as to what this "feeling" is like, well, let me describe. I was excited to see him EVERY time. It drove me crazy not to see him. He was the first thing I thought about in the morning and the last thing I thought about at night. Talking to him on the phone made me giggle and blush like I was in high school again. I could stare at pictures of us for hours. And picturing my life without him has been nearly impossible. I haven't felt so heart broken since my first love in high school.

Well, I'm leaving it up to fate. Whatever's meant to be will be. For now, it's about moving on. One day at a time.