Mr. Dentist

After an extended vacay to take my mind off of you know who, I come back to NYC to an invitation to a major gala.  Swanky and fancy!  It's time for the new me to take flight and the gala will be my coming out party.  I choose a flirty yet sophisticated dress that reveals enough skin to show off my vacation tan.  As soon as I arrive at this grand party, a pair of handsome young men approach me to ask me to take a picture of them.  I automatically think they're gay.
I enter the party and immediately hit the open bar.  Tickets were not cheap to this thing so I figure I better get my money's worth!  And boy do I get my money's worth.  By the end of the night, I feel like Cinderella dancing at the ball with every handsome prince possible.  All of a sudden, this gala has turned in to my gala, and I think "If you know who could see me now."
Suddenly...I black out.
In my splish splash of memories, I see scenes of me downing glasses of wine, a tongue in my mouth, and one of the earlier gay men appearing right before me as I am hailing a taxi.  I ask if he's here to save me, since he is gay.  He tells me he's not gay, but he will save me.  He tells me I'm in no condition to go home, so he'll take me back to his apartment right around the block.  Barely able to stand up, I hold on to his shoulders (hmm, nice shoulders), and stumble back to his apartment.
Along the way, I find out that he's a dentist.  As the walk sobers me up, I get a good look at Mr. Dentist.  He's not tall as I'm probably his height in heels.  Tanned.  Nice teeth...of course.  He has one of those "old-young faces" where I know he's probably young, but I can already picture him old.  He seems nice, but at this point, anyone will seem nice.
We get back to his apartment and all I want to do is makeout and pass out.  Then, I wake up in the middle of the night with the incredible urge to have sex with him.  I mean, I haven't had sex since Mr. Bartender whose floppy dick probably didn't count anyway!  I wake up Mr. Dentist and have him drill me until I pass out again.
While doing my formal-wear walk of shame home the next morning in my gold stilettos, I make up my mind that Mr. Dentist is just what I needed to get my old self back.  Fuck reinvention, I just want to be slutty again.  Just as I hop into a cab, I get a text from an unknown number: "Hope you got home OK last night.  I carried you down the stairs because you couldn't walk and we made out for a long time."  Could this be my knight in shining armor?

Update:
Mr. Dentist and I end up going on a couple dates.  I don't feel a spark, but I enjoy the companionship...until he gets a little too up in my grill and starts talking "couple" talk.  That's when I cut that bitch loose.  Besides, aren't all dentists fucked up anyway?

Mr. In Love

Still trying to get over Sporting Goods, I set out on an adventure half way around the world.  By myself.  I don't plan on sleeping with foreign dudes because you always hear about crazy international kidnappings, so I keep my flirting to a minimum...until...I meet up with a friend who just happens to be in the same exotic country I am.  He's gay and horny.  My perfect partner in crime.  We hit the clubs in a land where very few people speak English.  Drinks are like 2 cents so we get obliterated.  Out of the corner of my eye, I spot a man staring at me.  I'm not sure what he really looks like, but my friend has found his hump partner for the night so I make my way to my potential nightcap.  Turns out he speaks some English.  I wish I could describe what he looks like, but all I can make out are that his facial features are all in the right place.  And he has gelled, spiky hair.  Good enough for me.  I grab his face and make out with him like I haven't made out in years.  He's extremely taken aback by my aggressive gesture but of course he's digging it while thinking, "crazy Americans."  He asks me to go back with him but I'm not drunk enough to hide my paranoia, so I decline.  We exchange emails and I suck his tongue good night.

The next day, I get an email from him saying, "I believe it was love at first sight.  I have no doubt that I am in love with you."
I don't respond.
The following day, I get another email saying, "Why haven't you responded?  Do you not feel the same way?  I've never met a woman like you.  You are mine now."
I'm a little scared and still do not respond.
Third day: "I still haven't heard from you.  Are you OK?  You are my girl now.  Don't let anybody else have you, I will be very jealous.  I love you."
Shitting my pants a little bit, I refuse to respond once again.
Fourth day: "I will always love you...from the moment I met you.  We will meet again I am sure of it."

Note to self: Change my name ASAP.

Mr. Bartender

It's a school night and I decide to head to my favorite bar where I always end up making out with some hot young thing. This girl needs some lovin'! When I first get to the bar with my friends, the scene is pretty dead but I do notice a tall, blue-eyed bartender behind the bar. I've never seen him before. But honestly, they all look the same at this bar. Tall, young, frat-ish. They seriously just stepped out of that show Greek.

The whole night, I have my back turned away from the bar as I'm conversing with my friends. Every time we feel the need to leave, the bartenders feed us free shots. Nobody should ever turn down free drinks, right? At the end of the night, it's "last call" and I start packing up my stuff to leave with my guy friend. At the same time, the blue-eyed bartender decides to leave as well. We haven't talked much to this point but talking is so overrated.

The 3 of us get outside and I announce that I want pizza. Mr. Bartender responds, "I'll treat you guys to pizza." Free alcohol AND pizza?! Did I just die and go to heaven? At the pizza place, I am subtly flirtatious with Mr. B. Or at least in my mind. He invites us to meet up with another friend at another bar. We leave the pizza joint holding hands. I miss holding hands, it's so nice.

I find out that Mr. B is a 23-year-old originally from LA. Went to college on the East Coast and have lived in NYC for barely a year. He's probably 6'2" and my friend calls him Michael Buble. After meeting up with his friend we head to the subway station together. The three of us. While my friend is on the phone, Mr. B picks me up and throws me over his shoulder. How very caveman of him. As I'm descending, we lock eyes and make out. See? I told you this bar produces some kind of magic make out dust!

Although I do consider riding the subway home, I also know deep down that I need some sexy time. I send my friend on his way and go home with Mr. B. Well, Mr. B must be some kind of trust fund baby because he resides in a luxury high rise building on the uppereast side. He has one of those apartments that most of my friends my age can't even afford. I don't get it, but I don't question it. I need to fuck.

Mr. B strips off my clothes and talks dirty to me - in this juvenile "I just discovered porn" kind of way. I love making out with him until he finds it sexy to bite my lips until it bleeds. Sorry, I'm not into Twilight foreplay. Mr. B also then tries to shove his huge fingers into my pussy. Don't get me wrong, I love being fingered. Just not when I'm not wet, my lips are bleeding, and when he has giant man fingers. And to top it all off, Mr. B has a giant flaccid penis! With all of this, I play the "I'm tired" card and roll over.

The morning after is a lot nicer than I expect. We cuddle, Mr. B tells me that he wants to wine and dine me all day. He also tells me that he has a spare closet for me to keep my extra clothes. And oh, an extra tooth brush. I tell him I want him to meet my parents tomorrow. While I plan our wedding in my head, Mr. B ruins it by inviting me to shower sex with him. But of course I accept and am not surprised that he could only get it up for 2 seconds at a time.

I get dressed, take my last lap around Mr. B's massive apartment and ask him to walk me to the subway. It's a beautiful day out and I fantasize about playing house with Mr. B. We even stop at a pet store to look at puppies like we're about to adopt a baby. Of course, it's all fun and games.

I hug Mr. B good-bye and tell him to call me. Although, I know there's no future. Hell, we can't even be fuck buddies. But at least I know where I have an extra closet.

Mr. High School

Ahhh, it has been forever. I'm still trying to get over my breakup with Sporting Goods. It's been rough, I'm not gonna lie. I guess that's what happens when you really like someone. They fuck you up. Haha. Anyway, an old friend/acquaintance from high school visits NYC for the weekend so I agree to meet up with him. We've had flirtations in the past but now he's happily married and totally not my type.

So after a very long work day I decide to meet Mr. High School for dinner and lots of drinks. It's been quite a while since I've seen him so it's nice to catch up. During dinner, there are minor flirtations. That could also just be because I'm super flirtatious with people I'm semi attracted to. Since we sorta have history, it gave me more impetus to flirt. All innocent, of course. After dinner, we head to my favorite bar to meet up with my friends. I let loose and drink my ass off (what else is new?). Before you know it, we're holding hands and getting into a cab together. Inside the cab, HS has his arms around me and I'm breathing heavily into his ear. I'm wasted and horny...and still in rebound mode. HS starts caressing me and I turn my head. We kiss softly and get interrupted by the cab driver, "Which side do you want to be let out?"

HS and I get out holding hands. He walks me to my apartment and offers to tuck me in. He also tells me, "I'm married, remember?" I nod and take off my shirt. HS runs out of my apartment.

The next day, I wake up late and miss my flight to vacation with friends. Damn that karma! Damn married men! Damn my drunk ass!

Mr. Best Sex Ever (BSE)

Just when I post about not recycling men, guess what I go and do? Yup. And it gets even worse. So here's the back story. About 2 years ago, I met a guy that I worked with and we traveled together. In the beginning, it was purely platonic and I never saw him in any romantic way. Then one day, after a couple glasses of wine, I decided I wanted him! Really badly! At the time I was with my boyfriend, but there was something about this guy that magically drew me to him. That night, we messed around but did not have sex. It was the first time I had ever cheated on anyone but for some reason, it felt so right with him. For the next 2 weeks, we ended up having sex almost every night in each other's hotel rooms. It was the best sex I had ever experienced. I remember after the first time we had sex, my body trembled. And the next day at work, just the sight of him made me quiver (in a good way). Having sex with him was on my mind 24/7 to the point where other people commented on my lack of focus. We had such amazing sexual chemistry and he knew how to arouse the hell out of me. I still remember this one time, we were getting out of the elevator, and he threw me up against the wall and started making out with me and feeling me up right there. I thought we were going to do it right then and there, in the middle of a hotel hallway! He was my best sex ever (Mr. BSE).

So for a few weeks after that when we came back to NYC, we were still having sex whenever I could get away for a minute. But things got messy when I started having feelings for him and wanted to leave my boyfriend for him. At which time, he decided to get back with his ex-girlfriend. I was devastated and heartbroken. I couldn't eat for days and I just stayed in bed for literally 3-4 days at a time. I think it was a combination of losing someone I thought I really liked and the guilt of cheating on my boyfriend. I vowed to never see him again.

Fast forward to Friday night. It's been 2 years and I've finally gotten over BSE after meeting Sporting Goods. So, it couldn't be any more interesting when BSE contacted me to hang out the Friday after Mr. SG and I break up. We've slowly started hanging out about 3 months ago so I knew I no longer had feelings for him. Besides, he's still with the girlfriend. We decide to meet at my favorite bar in the West Village and we have great conversation. Besides the sex that we had, BSE and I really do have a great connection. I can't deny that. You know, there are just some people that you'll always like being around no matter what.

After the bar, we decide to meet up with some of his friends. At this point I'm wasted but I don't anticipate anything. I'm just happy. BSE hasn't tried anything so it's all good. Until...after the bar closes and his friends leave. He's sitting outside and we're talking foolish drunk talk. If I remember correctly, he motions for me to sit on his lap. Uh oh. This is actually how it all started the first time, 2 years ago. BSE then tells me that I'm amazing and that I deserve someone great. We look into each other's eyes...he leans in...and I meet him. There we are, back to where we were 2 years ago. Making out like nothing had changed.

Things get a little hot and heavy and he asks if we should go back to his place or my place. Knowing that he lives with his girlfriend (who apparently must be out of town), I suggest my place. We make out in the cab, we make out when we get out of the cab, we make out in front of my apartment building, we make out once we get into my building, he starts taking off my clothes before we even go up the stairs. We get into my apartment and it's on like Donkey Kong. Clothes are flying and body parts are rubbing. BSE goes down on me with what felt like the best oral sex I've ever had (which is a lot for me to say because I don't normally like oral sex). I then reciprocate by giving him what I think was probably the best BJ I've ever given. He couldn't let me perform it for long because he was about to burst. So he puts on a condom and we're full on fucking. I tell him that I've missed his cock, and he says, "I've been thinking about this for the past 2 years." When I say BSE has been my best sex ever, I mean he seriously has been my BEST SEX EVER. Sure, I've had amazing sex before with people I have had a serious emotional connection with, but with BSE, it's straight up an amazing fuck.

The next day, I wake up in BSE's arms and we fuck again with me lying belly side up on top of him while he stimulates my clit, then with me straddling him until we both come at the same time. He then says, "That was amazing." Yes it was. BSE collects his things and leaves for work. I have no fantasies about us dating or anything, but the thought of him makes me wet.

Later, we discuss what happened and agree that we should not hang out one-on-one at night anymore. We also admit to each other that we are very sexually compatible and that we often fantasize about sex with each other. Although I'm not super proud of what I did, at least now I know that our attraction is purely sexual and there's no danger of entering the emotional mess that I was in 2 years ago.

And at the end of the day, the best sex ever still couldn't get my mind off of Sporting Goods.

Recycling Men

I used to be the girl who would constantly run back to my ex's after a breakup. My last year in college, I re-slept with all of the boyfriends I had ever had (yes, even the high school bf). After college, I even tried re-starting an old relationship. This time, though, I have a brand new outlook. I will NOT go back to any of my old hook ups, as easy and tempting as is. And that leads me to last night.

I decid to go to one of my favorite bars with a girlfriend so we could catch up and dance out some stress. As I am walking back from the restroom, I run into Mr. Brooklyn! Remember? The 22-year-old fuck buddy I had when I first started dating? So just a little more back story, Brooklyn had been texting me while I was dating SG. He always wanted to come over and called me a "heartbreaker." Anyway, I ignored his texts. So last night, I was a little shocked to see him but give him a hug anyway. Brooklyn's looking good, even cuter than I wanted to admit. He immediately says, "I haven't heard from you in a while." I say, "I thought you didn't hang out at this bar anymore" (this is the bar where we first met where he claims he stopped going to). His response: "I don't. Just decided to come today." And I say, "The truth is you came today because you were hoping for the chance to run into me." Whatta bitch I am.

Later in the night, Brooklyn and I are dancing on the dance floor and he then asks me to go smoke a cigarette with him outside. He leads me around the corner and says, "You know I don't smoke. I just want to make out with you." He then grabs me and we engage in some raw tonguing that is, well, like making out with a 22-year-old. Haha. He then starts to put his hand down my tights and that's when I start getting turned off. I mean, really?! He wants to finger me out in the open in front of a fucking bar? No thanks. I start walking away and he says, "Yue, do I get the privilege of sleeping in your bed tonight." "Nope" I respond without hesitation. He then says, "Then, don't dance with me anymore." "OK."

We go back inside and I start dancing with my friend. Brooklyn decides to buy us shots. Still, I know I'm not sleeping with him. He then tells me, "You broke my heart" as he motions a twisting knife to his heart. Half an hour later, I see him making out with some little blond girl. I also see him taking her home (well probably taking her to her place since he does still live with mommy and daddy).

Anyway, the point is, I feel like a changed woman! I'm not going to revert back to my old conquests because there are good reasons why they never developed into anything more. So, no more recycling of the old, because it's all about the new!

Mr. Married Man (MM)

That's right, you read the title correctly. Before you judge, don't you want to hear the story first? My friend invited me out to hang out one night. She had a rich guy friend in town and he wanted some girls around. I figured why not, I wanted to get my mind off of the SG breakup. I show up at a fancy schmancy hotel bar and meet the guy friend who is married with 2 kids. I immediately know he is off limits. Mr. Married Man (MM for short) is a former college basketball player. Very tall with a charming face. He is charismatic, smart, and very open-minded. Maybe a little too open-minded. As the night progresses, MM tells me that him and his wife have a very good marriage because of their mutual agreement: have fun as long as you don't bring home a child, a disease, or a scandal. Hmmm, sounds like an open relationship to me.

At the end of the night, he offers to drop me off at my apartment before heading to his hotel. However, we decide to continue drinking at my neighborhood bar. The conversation is fantastic and there is nothing sleazy going on. MM is just a fascinating person with a great point-of-view. We close down the bar and he asks to come over to my apartment in a "non-sexual way" to continue our conversation. At this point, I'm wasted and horny, and I've already decided that we're going to hook up.

We get to my apartment and he motions for me to lie next to him in my bed. There's a little bit cuddling and then progresses into touching. His one hand is feeling my ass while the other one is down my tube top. I am thoroughly turned on and I start grinding on top of him. Now, if my memory serves me right, I give him a hand job underneath his jeans. Although MM is clearly turned on, he doesn't make a move to kiss me and I'm not about to kiss him. So as a result, we engage in some elementary fondling. I then have to go to the restroom and when I return, MM has turned on all of my lights and is headed out. He says, "I don't want to do anything we would regret later." He also says, "I can't believe that guy (SG) didn't fight for you."

I can't say I'm not completely guilty about what I did, but again, this is called REBOUND. So I just happen to rebound with a married man. Not like you've never thought about it.