Mr. Bartender

It's a school night and I decide to head to my favorite bar where I always end up making out with some hot young thing. This girl needs some lovin'! When I first get to the bar with my friends, the scene is pretty dead but I do notice a tall, blue-eyed bartender behind the bar. I've never seen him before. But honestly, they all look the same at this bar. Tall, young, frat-ish. They seriously just stepped out of that show Greek.

The whole night, I have my back turned away from the bar as I'm conversing with my friends. Every time we feel the need to leave, the bartenders feed us free shots. Nobody should ever turn down free drinks, right? At the end of the night, it's "last call" and I start packing up my stuff to leave with my guy friend. At the same time, the blue-eyed bartender decides to leave as well. We haven't talked much to this point but talking is so overrated.

The 3 of us get outside and I announce that I want pizza. Mr. Bartender responds, "I'll treat you guys to pizza." Free alcohol AND pizza?! Did I just die and go to heaven? At the pizza place, I am subtly flirtatious with Mr. B. Or at least in my mind. He invites us to meet up with another friend at another bar. We leave the pizza joint holding hands. I miss holding hands, it's so nice.

I find out that Mr. B is a 23-year-old originally from LA. Went to college on the East Coast and have lived in NYC for barely a year. He's probably 6'2" and my friend calls him Michael Buble. After meeting up with his friend we head to the subway station together. The three of us. While my friend is on the phone, Mr. B picks me up and throws me over his shoulder. How very caveman of him. As I'm descending, we lock eyes and make out. See? I told you this bar produces some kind of magic make out dust!

Although I do consider riding the subway home, I also know deep down that I need some sexy time. I send my friend on his way and go home with Mr. B. Well, Mr. B must be some kind of trust fund baby because he resides in a luxury high rise building on the uppereast side. He has one of those apartments that most of my friends my age can't even afford. I don't get it, but I don't question it. I need to fuck.

Mr. B strips off my clothes and talks dirty to me - in this juvenile "I just discovered porn" kind of way. I love making out with him until he finds it sexy to bite my lips until it bleeds. Sorry, I'm not into Twilight foreplay. Mr. B also then tries to shove his huge fingers into my pussy. Don't get me wrong, I love being fingered. Just not when I'm not wet, my lips are bleeding, and when he has giant man fingers. And to top it all off, Mr. B has a giant flaccid penis! With all of this, I play the "I'm tired" card and roll over.

The morning after is a lot nicer than I expect. We cuddle, Mr. B tells me that he wants to wine and dine me all day. He also tells me that he has a spare closet for me to keep my extra clothes. And oh, an extra tooth brush. I tell him I want him to meet my parents tomorrow. While I plan our wedding in my head, Mr. B ruins it by inviting me to shower sex with him. But of course I accept and am not surprised that he could only get it up for 2 seconds at a time.

I get dressed, take my last lap around Mr. B's massive apartment and ask him to walk me to the subway. It's a beautiful day out and I fantasize about playing house with Mr. B. We even stop at a pet store to look at puppies like we're about to adopt a baby. Of course, it's all fun and games.

I hug Mr. B good-bye and tell him to call me. Although, I know there's no future. Hell, we can't even be fuck buddies. But at least I know where I have an extra closet.