Mr. Dentist

After an extended vacay to take my mind off of you know who, I come back to NYC to an invitation to a major gala.  Swanky and fancy!  It's time for the new me to take flight and the gala will be my coming out party.  I choose a flirty yet sophisticated dress that reveals enough skin to show off my vacation tan.  As soon as I arrive at this grand party, a pair of handsome young men approach me to ask me to take a picture of them.  I automatically think they're gay.
I enter the party and immediately hit the open bar.  Tickets were not cheap to this thing so I figure I better get my money's worth!  And boy do I get my money's worth.  By the end of the night, I feel like Cinderella dancing at the ball with every handsome prince possible.  All of a sudden, this gala has turned in to my gala, and I think "If you know who could see me now."
Suddenly...I black out.
In my splish splash of memories, I see scenes of me downing glasses of wine, a tongue in my mouth, and one of the earlier gay men appearing right before me as I am hailing a taxi.  I ask if he's here to save me, since he is gay.  He tells me he's not gay, but he will save me.  He tells me I'm in no condition to go home, so he'll take me back to his apartment right around the block.  Barely able to stand up, I hold on to his shoulders (hmm, nice shoulders), and stumble back to his apartment.
Along the way, I find out that he's a dentist.  As the walk sobers me up, I get a good look at Mr. Dentist.  He's not tall as I'm probably his height in heels.  Tanned.  Nice teeth...of course.  He has one of those "old-young faces" where I know he's probably young, but I can already picture him old.  He seems nice, but at this point, anyone will seem nice.
We get back to his apartment and all I want to do is makeout and pass out.  Then, I wake up in the middle of the night with the incredible urge to have sex with him.  I mean, I haven't had sex since Mr. Bartender whose floppy dick probably didn't count anyway!  I wake up Mr. Dentist and have him drill me until I pass out again.
While doing my formal-wear walk of shame home the next morning in my gold stilettos, I make up my mind that Mr. Dentist is just what I needed to get my old self back.  Fuck reinvention, I just want to be slutty again.  Just as I hop into a cab, I get a text from an unknown number: "Hope you got home OK last night.  I carried you down the stairs because you couldn't walk and we made out for a long time."  Could this be my knight in shining armor?

Update:
Mr. Dentist and I end up going on a couple dates.  I don't feel a spark, but I enjoy the companionship...until he gets a little too up in my grill and starts talking "couple" talk.  That's when I cut that bitch loose.  Besides, aren't all dentists fucked up anyway?

Mr. In Love

Still trying to get over Sporting Goods, I set out on an adventure half way around the world.  By myself.  I don't plan on sleeping with foreign dudes because you always hear about crazy international kidnappings, so I keep my flirting to a minimum...until...I meet up with a friend who just happens to be in the same exotic country I am.  He's gay and horny.  My perfect partner in crime.  We hit the clubs in a land where very few people speak English.  Drinks are like 2 cents so we get obliterated.  Out of the corner of my eye, I spot a man staring at me.  I'm not sure what he really looks like, but my friend has found his hump partner for the night so I make my way to my potential nightcap.  Turns out he speaks some English.  I wish I could describe what he looks like, but all I can make out are that his facial features are all in the right place.  And he has gelled, spiky hair.  Good enough for me.  I grab his face and make out with him like I haven't made out in years.  He's extremely taken aback by my aggressive gesture but of course he's digging it while thinking, "crazy Americans."  He asks me to go back with him but I'm not drunk enough to hide my paranoia, so I decline.  We exchange emails and I suck his tongue good night.

The next day, I get an email from him saying, "I believe it was love at first sight.  I have no doubt that I am in love with you."
I don't respond.
The following day, I get another email saying, "Why haven't you responded?  Do you not feel the same way?  I've never met a woman like you.  You are mine now."
I'm a little scared and still do not respond.
Third day: "I still haven't heard from you.  Are you OK?  You are my girl now.  Don't let anybody else have you, I will be very jealous.  I love you."
Shitting my pants a little bit, I refuse to respond once again.
Fourth day: "I will always love you...from the moment I met you.  We will meet again I am sure of it."

Note to self: Change my name ASAP.

Mr. Bartender

It's a school night and I decide to head to my favorite bar where I always end up making out with some hot young thing. This girl needs some lovin'! When I first get to the bar with my friends, the scene is pretty dead but I do notice a tall, blue-eyed bartender behind the bar. I've never seen him before. But honestly, they all look the same at this bar. Tall, young, frat-ish. They seriously just stepped out of that show Greek.

The whole night, I have my back turned away from the bar as I'm conversing with my friends. Every time we feel the need to leave, the bartenders feed us free shots. Nobody should ever turn down free drinks, right? At the end of the night, it's "last call" and I start packing up my stuff to leave with my guy friend. At the same time, the blue-eyed bartender decides to leave as well. We haven't talked much to this point but talking is so overrated.

The 3 of us get outside and I announce that I want pizza. Mr. Bartender responds, "I'll treat you guys to pizza." Free alcohol AND pizza?! Did I just die and go to heaven? At the pizza place, I am subtly flirtatious with Mr. B. Or at least in my mind. He invites us to meet up with another friend at another bar. We leave the pizza joint holding hands. I miss holding hands, it's so nice.

I find out that Mr. B is a 23-year-old originally from LA. Went to college on the East Coast and have lived in NYC for barely a year. He's probably 6'2" and my friend calls him Michael Buble. After meeting up with his friend we head to the subway station together. The three of us. While my friend is on the phone, Mr. B picks me up and throws me over his shoulder. How very caveman of him. As I'm descending, we lock eyes and make out. See? I told you this bar produces some kind of magic make out dust!

Although I do consider riding the subway home, I also know deep down that I need some sexy time. I send my friend on his way and go home with Mr. B. Well, Mr. B must be some kind of trust fund baby because he resides in a luxury high rise building on the uppereast side. He has one of those apartments that most of my friends my age can't even afford. I don't get it, but I don't question it. I need to fuck.

Mr. B strips off my clothes and talks dirty to me - in this juvenile "I just discovered porn" kind of way. I love making out with him until he finds it sexy to bite my lips until it bleeds. Sorry, I'm not into Twilight foreplay. Mr. B also then tries to shove his huge fingers into my pussy. Don't get me wrong, I love being fingered. Just not when I'm not wet, my lips are bleeding, and when he has giant man fingers. And to top it all off, Mr. B has a giant flaccid penis! With all of this, I play the "I'm tired" card and roll over.

The morning after is a lot nicer than I expect. We cuddle, Mr. B tells me that he wants to wine and dine me all day. He also tells me that he has a spare closet for me to keep my extra clothes. And oh, an extra tooth brush. I tell him I want him to meet my parents tomorrow. While I plan our wedding in my head, Mr. B ruins it by inviting me to shower sex with him. But of course I accept and am not surprised that he could only get it up for 2 seconds at a time.

I get dressed, take my last lap around Mr. B's massive apartment and ask him to walk me to the subway. It's a beautiful day out and I fantasize about playing house with Mr. B. We even stop at a pet store to look at puppies like we're about to adopt a baby. Of course, it's all fun and games.

I hug Mr. B good-bye and tell him to call me. Although, I know there's no future. Hell, we can't even be fuck buddies. But at least I know where I have an extra closet.

Mr. High School

Ahhh, it has been forever. I'm still trying to get over my breakup with Sporting Goods. It's been rough, I'm not gonna lie. I guess that's what happens when you really like someone. They fuck you up. Haha. Anyway, an old friend/acquaintance from high school visits NYC for the weekend so I agree to meet up with him. We've had flirtations in the past but now he's happily married and totally not my type.

So after a very long work day I decide to meet Mr. High School for dinner and lots of drinks. It's been quite a while since I've seen him so it's nice to catch up. During dinner, there are minor flirtations. That could also just be because I'm super flirtatious with people I'm semi attracted to. Since we sorta have history, it gave me more impetus to flirt. All innocent, of course. After dinner, we head to my favorite bar to meet up with my friends. I let loose and drink my ass off (what else is new?). Before you know it, we're holding hands and getting into a cab together. Inside the cab, HS has his arms around me and I'm breathing heavily into his ear. I'm wasted and horny...and still in rebound mode. HS starts caressing me and I turn my head. We kiss softly and get interrupted by the cab driver, "Which side do you want to be let out?"

HS and I get out holding hands. He walks me to my apartment and offers to tuck me in. He also tells me, "I'm married, remember?" I nod and take off my shirt. HS runs out of my apartment.

The next day, I wake up late and miss my flight to vacation with friends. Damn that karma! Damn married men! Damn my drunk ass!

Mr. Best Sex Ever (BSE)

Just when I post about not recycling men, guess what I go and do? Yup. And it gets even worse. So here's the back story. About 2 years ago, I met a guy that I worked with and we traveled together. In the beginning, it was purely platonic and I never saw him in any romantic way. Then one day, after a couple glasses of wine, I decided I wanted him! Really badly! At the time I was with my boyfriend, but there was something about this guy that magically drew me to him. That night, we messed around but did not have sex. It was the first time I had ever cheated on anyone but for some reason, it felt so right with him. For the next 2 weeks, we ended up having sex almost every night in each other's hotel rooms. It was the best sex I had ever experienced. I remember after the first time we had sex, my body trembled. And the next day at work, just the sight of him made me quiver (in a good way). Having sex with him was on my mind 24/7 to the point where other people commented on my lack of focus. We had such amazing sexual chemistry and he knew how to arouse the hell out of me. I still remember this one time, we were getting out of the elevator, and he threw me up against the wall and started making out with me and feeling me up right there. I thought we were going to do it right then and there, in the middle of a hotel hallway! He was my best sex ever (Mr. BSE).

So for a few weeks after that when we came back to NYC, we were still having sex whenever I could get away for a minute. But things got messy when I started having feelings for him and wanted to leave my boyfriend for him. At which time, he decided to get back with his ex-girlfriend. I was devastated and heartbroken. I couldn't eat for days and I just stayed in bed for literally 3-4 days at a time. I think it was a combination of losing someone I thought I really liked and the guilt of cheating on my boyfriend. I vowed to never see him again.

Fast forward to Friday night. It's been 2 years and I've finally gotten over BSE after meeting Sporting Goods. So, it couldn't be any more interesting when BSE contacted me to hang out the Friday after Mr. SG and I break up. We've slowly started hanging out about 3 months ago so I knew I no longer had feelings for him. Besides, he's still with the girlfriend. We decide to meet at my favorite bar in the West Village and we have great conversation. Besides the sex that we had, BSE and I really do have a great connection. I can't deny that. You know, there are just some people that you'll always like being around no matter what.

After the bar, we decide to meet up with some of his friends. At this point I'm wasted but I don't anticipate anything. I'm just happy. BSE hasn't tried anything so it's all good. Until...after the bar closes and his friends leave. He's sitting outside and we're talking foolish drunk talk. If I remember correctly, he motions for me to sit on his lap. Uh oh. This is actually how it all started the first time, 2 years ago. BSE then tells me that I'm amazing and that I deserve someone great. We look into each other's eyes...he leans in...and I meet him. There we are, back to where we were 2 years ago. Making out like nothing had changed.

Things get a little hot and heavy and he asks if we should go back to his place or my place. Knowing that he lives with his girlfriend (who apparently must be out of town), I suggest my place. We make out in the cab, we make out when we get out of the cab, we make out in front of my apartment building, we make out once we get into my building, he starts taking off my clothes before we even go up the stairs. We get into my apartment and it's on like Donkey Kong. Clothes are flying and body parts are rubbing. BSE goes down on me with what felt like the best oral sex I've ever had (which is a lot for me to say because I don't normally like oral sex). I then reciprocate by giving him what I think was probably the best BJ I've ever given. He couldn't let me perform it for long because he was about to burst. So he puts on a condom and we're full on fucking. I tell him that I've missed his cock, and he says, "I've been thinking about this for the past 2 years." When I say BSE has been my best sex ever, I mean he seriously has been my BEST SEX EVER. Sure, I've had amazing sex before with people I have had a serious emotional connection with, but with BSE, it's straight up an amazing fuck.

The next day, I wake up in BSE's arms and we fuck again with me lying belly side up on top of him while he stimulates my clit, then with me straddling him until we both come at the same time. He then says, "That was amazing." Yes it was. BSE collects his things and leaves for work. I have no fantasies about us dating or anything, but the thought of him makes me wet.

Later, we discuss what happened and agree that we should not hang out one-on-one at night anymore. We also admit to each other that we are very sexually compatible and that we often fantasize about sex with each other. Although I'm not super proud of what I did, at least now I know that our attraction is purely sexual and there's no danger of entering the emotional mess that I was in 2 years ago.

And at the end of the day, the best sex ever still couldn't get my mind off of Sporting Goods.

Recycling Men

I used to be the girl who would constantly run back to my ex's after a breakup. My last year in college, I re-slept with all of the boyfriends I had ever had (yes, even the high school bf). After college, I even tried re-starting an old relationship. This time, though, I have a brand new outlook. I will NOT go back to any of my old hook ups, as easy and tempting as is. And that leads me to last night.

I decid to go to one of my favorite bars with a girlfriend so we could catch up and dance out some stress. As I am walking back from the restroom, I run into Mr. Brooklyn! Remember? The 22-year-old fuck buddy I had when I first started dating? So just a little more back story, Brooklyn had been texting me while I was dating SG. He always wanted to come over and called me a "heartbreaker." Anyway, I ignored his texts. So last night, I was a little shocked to see him but give him a hug anyway. Brooklyn's looking good, even cuter than I wanted to admit. He immediately says, "I haven't heard from you in a while." I say, "I thought you didn't hang out at this bar anymore" (this is the bar where we first met where he claims he stopped going to). His response: "I don't. Just decided to come today." And I say, "The truth is you came today because you were hoping for the chance to run into me." Whatta bitch I am.

Later in the night, Brooklyn and I are dancing on the dance floor and he then asks me to go smoke a cigarette with him outside. He leads me around the corner and says, "You know I don't smoke. I just want to make out with you." He then grabs me and we engage in some raw tonguing that is, well, like making out with a 22-year-old. Haha. He then starts to put his hand down my tights and that's when I start getting turned off. I mean, really?! He wants to finger me out in the open in front of a fucking bar? No thanks. I start walking away and he says, "Yue, do I get the privilege of sleeping in your bed tonight." "Nope" I respond without hesitation. He then says, "Then, don't dance with me anymore." "OK."

We go back inside and I start dancing with my friend. Brooklyn decides to buy us shots. Still, I know I'm not sleeping with him. He then tells me, "You broke my heart" as he motions a twisting knife to his heart. Half an hour later, I see him making out with some little blond girl. I also see him taking her home (well probably taking her to her place since he does still live with mommy and daddy).

Anyway, the point is, I feel like a changed woman! I'm not going to revert back to my old conquests because there are good reasons why they never developed into anything more. So, no more recycling of the old, because it's all about the new!

Mr. Married Man (MM)

That's right, you read the title correctly. Before you judge, don't you want to hear the story first? My friend invited me out to hang out one night. She had a rich guy friend in town and he wanted some girls around. I figured why not, I wanted to get my mind off of the SG breakup. I show up at a fancy schmancy hotel bar and meet the guy friend who is married with 2 kids. I immediately know he is off limits. Mr. Married Man (MM for short) is a former college basketball player. Very tall with a charming face. He is charismatic, smart, and very open-minded. Maybe a little too open-minded. As the night progresses, MM tells me that him and his wife have a very good marriage because of their mutual agreement: have fun as long as you don't bring home a child, a disease, or a scandal. Hmmm, sounds like an open relationship to me.

At the end of the night, he offers to drop me off at my apartment before heading to his hotel. However, we decide to continue drinking at my neighborhood bar. The conversation is fantastic and there is nothing sleazy going on. MM is just a fascinating person with a great point-of-view. We close down the bar and he asks to come over to my apartment in a "non-sexual way" to continue our conversation. At this point, I'm wasted and horny, and I've already decided that we're going to hook up.

We get to my apartment and he motions for me to lie next to him in my bed. There's a little bit cuddling and then progresses into touching. His one hand is feeling my ass while the other one is down my tube top. I am thoroughly turned on and I start grinding on top of him. Now, if my memory serves me right, I give him a hand job underneath his jeans. Although MM is clearly turned on, he doesn't make a move to kiss me and I'm not about to kiss him. So as a result, we engage in some elementary fondling. I then have to go to the restroom and when I return, MM has turned on all of my lights and is headed out. He says, "I don't want to do anything we would regret later." He also says, "I can't believe that guy (SG) didn't fight for you."

I can't say I'm not completely guilty about what I did, but again, this is called REBOUND. So I just happen to rebound with a married man. Not like you've never thought about it.

The End of Sporting Goods

Yes, I know it has been a long time since I've updated you guys about my dating (mis)adventures. Let me save you from the boring details and give you a brief synopsis of what has been going on. Basically, I fell hard for Sporting Goods. I put him on a pedestal and I wanted to do everything to keep him around. I stopped seeing other people and devoted all of my time and energy to SG. He, on the other hand, did not feel the same intensity towards me. Or at least, I don't think. He was very hot and cold and would one day treat me like a girlfriend and the next day treat me like a casual friend. I couldn't deal with the emotional roller coaster anymore so it all boiled down to the day before Valentine's Day, when I told him the frustrations that I was feeling. He gave a half-assed attempt to salvage things but then finally admitted that he was just not sure about me. He told me that he had not been seeing other people and was exclusive in his mind, but he couldn't verbalize it because he was afraid his feelings would change. What it sounded like was the fact that he was not willing to risk his feelings to be with me. I knew I had to end it there because I deserve someone who is willing to fight for me, put themselves out there for me, risk their heart for me. Because frankly, I was willing to do all that for him.

So, all in all, it was a fantastic 2 months with SG that taught me a lot. The breakup has been extremely hard and I'm trying to take it one day at a time. But the best thing out of this whole thing is the fact that I know I have the capability to REALLY like someone. I've never felt this way about anyone before and although it hurts now, it felt so good in the moment.

For those of you who are curious as to what this "feeling" is like, well, let me describe. I was excited to see him EVERY time. It drove me crazy not to see him. He was the first thing I thought about in the morning and the last thing I thought about at night. Talking to him on the phone made me giggle and blush like I was in high school again. I could stare at pictures of us for hours. And picturing my life without him has been nearly impossible. I haven't felt so heart broken since my first love in high school.

Well, I'm leaving it up to fate. Whatever's meant to be will be. For now, it's about moving on. One day at a time.

Mr. Tennis, Date #2 (and last)

Mr. Tennis originally invited me out for dinner, and when it comes to the day of our 2nd date, he texts, "Want to watch a movie at my place?" In no mood to have sex with him, I decline. After a couple more attempts, he finally gives up. We decide to meet at one of my favorite restaurants that I used go to with my ex. Tennis is already waiting for me when I arrive, he's somewhat grumpy because he just worked out and is starving. I don't stand for grumpiness, so I give him the cold shoulder. He notices and then tells me I look very pretty. Yes, this is about as mature as you can get with a 24-year-old.

Our dinner convo is mostly bland sprinkled with a few flirtatious remarks that my vagina remotely responds to. When the bill comes, I take out some money and Tennis says, "No, my treat. This is your birthday dinner." I inch my money towards him a little bit more, and he takes it. Well, I guess it's not my birthday dinner anymore!

We leave the restaurant and Tennis puts his arms around me and tries to kiss me on the lips. I turn my head and end up with a sloppy kiss on my cheek/eye region. It's all a little juvenile and awkward, and to top it off, we decide to go to McDonald's for ice cream. When I'm with Mr. Tennis, I kind of feel like it's a school day in college. We're hanging out, having light conversation, and have to get up for class the next morning. I already knew that nothing would develop in this relationship, and on this second date, I have confirmed that feeling. I hug Tennis and catch a cab to go home. This will most definitely be our last date.

Another one...chopped!

Reacher or Settler?

I was watching How I Met Your Mother tonight and the topic was about the "Reacher" vs. the "Settler." The theory that there's both in a relationship, where the "Reacher" is dating someone out of their league and the "Settler" is settling for someone below their league. Although I 100% agree with the theory, I also wonder if the Reacher vs. Settler is based on reality or mentality. If it's reality, then the most objective person would be able to pick out the Reacher or the Settler in a couple. However, if it's mentality, then it's all about the dynamic of the relationship.

For example, I can't make myself crazy about Mr. Ireland because I feel like he's the Reacher in this courtship. For some reason, he's not as physically attractive or as witty as I think I am. Pretty cocky of me, right? But as a result, I am not as attentive to him as I should be and I don't feel the need to return any of his phone calls or texts. And what happens in return? He keeps trying, because now he's put in that Reacher position.

On the other hand, there's my situation with Mr. Sporting Goods. I feel that I am the Reacher because for some reason, I find him so incredibly attractive with an amazing pedigree. And as a result, I give him my undivided attention and I agonize over his calls and texts. And what happens in return? I am always available for him and I freely spill my feelings about him.

The point is, I think a successfully played game in dating is to be the Reacher in reality but Settler in mentality. It'll keep both parties wanting more. Now, saying it is much better than doing it. Good luck to us all!

6th Date w/ Mr. Sporting Goods

The day after our 5th date, Sporting Goods comes over. I clean the apartment and have plans ready for a great Friday night. Sporting Goods, on the other hand, may not be on the same page. He shows up at my apartment with a book in hand. I ask him why, and he responds, "I figured if you have plans to go out tonight, I would just go to a diner and read." WTF?! Apparently, we have a misunderstanding where he thought we had a sex date. Meaning, he was coming over for a movie and sex. He claims this is what I told him the night before when I was wasted. I give SG the benefit of the doubt and we go have dinner together. There's still a little bit of tension and I'm not sure how I'm suppose to feel. At one point, I ask him what he wants in life. And he responds, "to lead an unselfish life, because I've been so selfish the past 3 years." I like the answer, it means he's wanting to change. I feel better and we go back to my apartment to fuck.

I guess you can't have 2 amazing dates in a row, but at least we got over our first misunderstanding. Now, about that book...seriously?!

5th Date w/ Mr. Sporting Goods

After getting into a panic attack from not being asked out by Mr. Sporting Goods more than 5 days after our last date, he finally texts to ask me out for Thursday. Although there has been communication in those 5 days, I feel like I went through a transformation. I am falling hard for SG and I need to pull back, because it is not good to have someone affect me like this. So, going into our 5th date, my mindset is to 1) control the situation, 2) gain back the power and 3) not sleep with him. I also wear my tightest and shortest little black dress with high heel boots. I suggest a place to meet and I show up early so it would throw him off a little bit (since he's always the one waiting for me). SG shows up and seems tired from a long day's work, but also happy to see me. As we're catching up, I notice him blatantly checking me out. In our first few minutes of silence, he turns to me and says, "You look good." Ah, the outfit works like a charm every time. I am thrilled on the inside but I keep my cool on the outside with the response, "Oh, I had a dinner thing earlier." SG looks disappointed and says, "So, it wasn't for me." For the next 4 hours, we have some of the best conversation I've ever had on a date. Not only are we feeding off of each other's energy, SG is giving me his undivided attention. It's like we're the only 2 people at the bar. Throughout the night, SG is putting his hands on my legs and periodically holding my hand. SG usually doesn't display PDA like this so I am milking every minute of it. I feel like I'm on my A game and it is the first time I am fully confident that SG is into me. My feelings are then validated when SG asks me to go on a group ski trip with him. I am ecstatic and gladly accept. We close down the bar and the rest is a little fuzzy. I can recall us getting into a cab and SG holding my hand down my block. I tell him that he can't come up and we make out for a long time. He insists on walking me up to my door and in the process, finds Mardi Gras beads randomly and puts them on me. We make out some more in front of my door and I tell him that I want to see him soon. He immediately responds with, "How about tomorrow?" I get to see SG two days in a row? My heart jumps for joy and we kiss good night, for the millionth time.

Best. night. ever.

Mr. Tennis, Date #1

After almost a month after Mr. Tennis canceled on our first date, we finally get to meet up together. I have no expectations because my heart is still settled on Mr. Sporting Goods and mother nature is making her visit this week. I've been driving myself crazy lately because SG hasn't asked me out this week. I've seen him every week that I have been in town so breaking the pattern is also breaking my heart. That is why, I've decided to take on a new distraction of Mr. Tennis.

We decide to meet at my neighborhood bar and I show up early so I could start drinking early. I find Tennis attractive but being that he is almost 5 years younger, I know there is no long term potential with him. Tennis arrives while I'm halfway done with my first margarita. He is as cute as I remembered and also as nervous as I remembered. It's endearing. Tennis has an Abercrombie/frat boy appeal that brings me back to college. I like that he is athletic and clean cut. I think because of his nervous energy, it makes me more confident and assertive. We start talking about all sorts of random things and a couple hours later, Tennis has his arms around me. As I finish my 3rd margarita, I lean into him and we start making out. By the way we are kissing, I know right away that this is just for fun.

Tennis picks up the tab and we head to my apartment. I am feeling happily buzzed so my liquid courage allows me to take control of the situation. I light a candle and push him on to my bed. He's saying all sorts of things that make me feel like I'm in a rap video such as, "baby girl." Tennis grabs my ass, takes off my shirt and tells me that I am pretty. I think that's the magic combination to unlock my inner-whore. I put on some sexy music and start slithering my naked breasts up and down his body. I then grab his cock and start rubbing my nipples on it. Tennis is going crazy. He keeps saying, "Let's fuck" but I know that's not a possibility, so I keep teasing. I even put my tongue on the tip of his penis and circle it around until he tells me he might come. So I stop. What a bitch, right? We tease each other for a good hour or two (hard to tell because it seems like I'm getting more wasted), and I finally give him a hand job to finish him off. We clean each other off and he leaves so he can make it in to work at 8am. I'm relieved that he doesn't sleep over because I feel like I might throw up.

Will I see Tennis again? Sure, for as long as I need a distraction.

4th Date w/ Mr. Sporting Goods

It's only been 3 days since our last date, and I get to see Sporting Goods again. This time, he wants me to come to his hood in Brooklyn. Normally, I'm opposed to dating anyone outside of Manhattan, but for SG, I'd even consider going to Jersey for him (and thank God he doesn't live in Jersey). I dress a little more casual this time in T-shirt and jeans and meet SG at a trendy restaurant in Williamsburg. SG is waiting for me at the bar and I am excited to give him a hug. We have a lovely dinner and random conversation. SG picks up the tab again and as we begin to leave, he compliments me on my coat. I always find it fascinating when a guy comments on a girl's fashion. It shows that they're paying extra attention.

We go and grab drinks at a bar nearby and finally go back to his place. This is my first time to his natural habitat and I have played this scenario over and over in my head. On one hand, I picture a filthy frat-like environment with dirty dishes and pubes all over the bathroom floor. On the other hand, I picture a minimalist apartment with very little to comment on. As we pull up to his apartment, I notice a grand luxury high-rise building right by the water. As he opens the door, I am pleasantly surprised by how nice the apartment is. Although he lives with two other guys, the place is spotless. High-end stainless steel appliance, panoramic view of Manhattan with floor-to-ceiling windows, and an over-sized master bedroom with a 5-piece bath (that would be his room). I briefly meet his roommate and SG leads me to his bedroom. He closes the door behind and starts to kiss me. The view from his room is beautiful and the romantic atmosphere sets the perfect mood for our first actual sleepover. An innocent kiss turns into a 5 hour sex romp while listening to his itunes "sex playlist". Let me quickly list all that I can recall:

- 20 second teaser BJ (I'm so proud, I gave a blow job!)

- 5 minute of him going down on me

- Missionary

- Doggy-style

- Me on top

- Him fucking me while I'm hanging on his pull-up bar

- Him fucking me on his bathroom sink

- Him fucking me in his bathtub in complete darkness

- He comes twice!

- 7 condoms

- A shower together

After all this, you'd think I'd be exhausted. But no, I have an urge to talk about us. Why must women always choose the worst times to "talk"? I tell him that tonight there's been a change in dynamic. I ask him if we're just about sex or more than just sex. He tells me that he's glad we're having this conversation and he appreciates open communication. SG then tells me that for him, it's more than just sex. However, he knows he's a distant person. I then confess that I like him a lot and I just want to make sure I don't have the wrong expectations. Still feeling a little bit conflicted, we fall asleep. But, I am excited to find out that he has tomorrow off.

The next morning, we wake up on opposite sides of the bed. I think to myself if I could honestly be with someone who is as distant and as cold as him. I don't want to make the mistake thinking that he could change, because nobody can be changed unless if they want to change. As I lie there, I convince myself to create more distance between us so I don't get hurt. SG then eventually comes over to me and cuddles with me. It feels nice and I have hope again. We talk for a little bit and proceed to have more sex. Afterwards, he makes us some coffee and we eat last night's leftovers as we listen to music. We then go back to his bedroom and watch an episode of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" that he thinks I would love. It's hilarious and we have a good laugh. The good laugh then turns into more fantastic sex. I come and he comes.

We end the sex marathon with long, soapy showers. Afterwards, we talk some more and he thinks we are very similar sexually. It's totally true. As I lotion my naked body in the bathroom, he stops in mid sentence and starts nodding his head. "What are you doing?" SG: "You have a very nice body. I am nodding in admiration." Wow, SG has the capability of saying something that nice? I will take it. It's now about 2pm and I decide I shouldn't linger any longer. I get dressed and SG calls me a cab. He kisses me in the elevator and again before I get in the cab.

I'm falling hard for the tin man whether I like it or not.

Brooklyn and Tennis want in.

I guess the saying is true: when it rains, it pours. Not only do I get a slew of texts from Mr. Brooklyn (remember him?! The 22-year-old baby), but Mr. Tennis also texts wanting to hang out. Brooklyn just wants to fuck despite an abnormal text wishing me a Happy New Year vs. the usual "What's Up?" I haven't thought about him in so long, there's no point in bringing him back anymore. Besides, I should only move up, not down!

As for Mr. Tennis, I'm still remotely interested. And selfishly, I just feel like I need distractions around so I don't think too much of Sporting Goods. So, I respond to his text and we agree on a drink date next week. I don't know what he expects but I don't plan on sleeping with him.

Sporting Goods calls for 4th date!

While normally it takes SG 3-4 days after a date to contact me, this time SG wasted no time. He texted me today with an inside joke from our last date and then ended it with, "Want to hang out Thursday?"

This may not seem like a big deal but hanging out with SG TWICE in one week is a big deal to me. I like to think we're making progress and I'm hoping he'll be able to finally sleep over on Thursday.

Morning sex would take our "involvement with each other" (notice I don't use the word "relationship?") to the next level.

You never know who sees you

The day after my date with Mr. Ireland, I get a message on Facebook from a guy that I had worked with on a short-term project over 2.5 years ago. He writes, "How was the food last night?" A little bewildered, I respond back, "Huh? How did ya know?" He then tells me that he saw me at the restaurant with a guy and didn't want to interrupt because the guy seemed to be talking a lot. I tell him that I was on a first date and he says, "I hope it was a first and last. If I would've known he wasn't your boyfriend, I would've come in and stolen you from him." He then ends the conversation with, "Glad to hear you're no longer with your boyfriend. Let me know if you need a sushi/sake partner sometime."

I never really thought about it before but in city like NYC, it is very likely you could run into people you know. Most of the time, it'd be nice to see a familiar face while on a date, but at the same time, it would not be fun to run into someone else I was dating. In this situation, I somehow became more desirable for this guy who I had only met once and worked with for approx. 8 hours over 2 years ago. But let's say if I had run into Sporting Goods while on my date with Ireland, would SG lose interest or would it make him fight harder?

3rd Date w/ Mr. Sporting Goods

I wish everyday could be as exciting as waiting for today, because I have been dying to see Sporting Goods for the past almost 3 weeks! I get a little more dressy than normal because I want to remind him of what he has been missing all this time. Here's the gist of my look: short t-shirt dress with a low-cut V, tights, and over the knee boots. Also, bouncy bedroom-ready hair. It's still effortless but also not so pedestrian. Although the restaurant is a mere 10 minute walk from my apartment, I hop into a cab because I can't seem to get there fast enough.

I arrive at the restaurant in Union Square and there he is waiting for me. He is insanely hot. He came straight from work so he's in his button down shirt, tie, and pinstripe slacks. It may sound like your usual corporate attire, but trust me, he makes corporate sexy again. SG also got a haircut and it suits him well. I still get nervous when I see him and I can feel my armpits perspiring. It's not cute. I take off my coat and reveal my outfit while wearing his scarf that he left at my apartment last time. The scarf goes perfectly well with my outfit and SG is entertained.

We, of course, talk about our holidays and whatnot. Most of our conversation is witty banter, kind of like an episode of Seinfield. SG likes to throw out hypothetical situations for me to decipher. We also sarcastically analyze all the avant garde artwork around the restaurant. Dinner has been nothing but perfect and I am so happy to be in his company. Beyond happy. It's euphoric. I can acknowledge the fact that I am very infatuated with SG. Whether he feels the same way about me, I can't tell. I must get to the bottom of it tonight.

After dinner, SG kisses me outside the restaurant wants to know if I want to go back to Brooklyn with him. It's 10 degrees outside and I really don't feel like doing the walk of shame tomorrow morning from Brooklyn. So, we get in the cab and I tell the cab driver "2 stops." "Ouch," SG reacts. We get to my place and I ask to get out from his side, he turns to me and asks "Are you really not going to ask me up to your place?" Hahahaha, I pat myself on the back and think "well played." I tell him he can come up, of course.

When we get to my apartment, I make him wait although I know I just want to jump on him. We wait a whole 15 minutes before it's a full-blown make out session. I have missed kissing these lips and being in these arms. The make out session lasts for a really long time, and I love that because I think I could make out with him for days. We then slowly peel off each other's clothes and to solve the sex lighting problem, I light a candle. It's perfect now and I can see SG's amazing manly body. There is nothing little boy about his physique. The awkward and also fun part about having sober sex is that we're both trying to explore each other and understand what we like. It's kind of exciting because with each penetration, it gets better and better. His cock is such a nice size and fits perfectly inside of me. It never fails to hit my G-spot and I orgasm for the first time with him. SG then gets up to take a shower because he claims that he wants to wash off his long day of work. It's a first, but I get it. Ha.

When SG comes back, we go at it again. SG goes down on me for a good 10 minutes and we proceed to go through 4 condoms in the next 3 hours and I orgasm again. I can tell that he is frustrated so I give him a hand job and let him cum on my stomach. I will do that for very few men and SG would be one of them. I would even confess that I thought about giving him a blow job. I'm not sure what the barriers are other than the fact that I haven't given one in so long, I need a refresher course. Heck, I didn't even know how to give a proper hand job. SG was nice enough to guide me though ("go up higher"). Next time, I will give SG my first blow job in over a year.

In between sex, SG and I cuddle, make out, and talk. He's not as open as the other boys, so I never know if he's into me or even finds me attractive. And I think that's why I'm so into him...it's the mystery of it all. Of course, as a girl, we look for every opportunity of affirmation. At one point in the night, I tell him that I think he's a little cold sometimes, and standoff-ish. He agrees and responds, "There's so many negative things about me but I can't think of one negative thing about you." OK, I will nourish my ego with that statement for the night.

At about 3am, SG has to leave so he can get some rest before his 8am meeting. We have several lingering kisses and giggles. I can't wait to see him again, and I hope it's sooner than next week.

Mr. Ireland, Date #1

I know I said I shouldn't have slept with Ireland, but he has been persistent in asking me out, so I figured "why not." Shortly after I get back to NYC from vacation, I get a text from Ireland asking when we can have dinner. Frankly, I always like to throw out the earliest possible date just so there's not much of a waiting game for either party. I respond, "tomorrow." Ireland texts back in an hour telling me he had made reservations for 6pm. Great.

After hearing stories that Ireland likes to treat his ladies right, I figure I should at least respect him by making some effort in my appearance. So I dress in black pants and a nice silk top, and curl my hair. It's the least I could do for the Irish. I show up at the restaurant in the Meatpacking District, and it's one of my favorites in NYC. Great choice. Mr. Ireland is looking nice and seems a little bit on the nervous side. We sit down and order, meanwhile catching each other up about our holidays. What I enjoy about Ireland is that he loves to laugh and he's always in a carpe diem mode. He really believes that life is too short and people should "have a laugh" whenever they can. Although I know I am not as attracted to him as I have been with the other guys, I still find him appealing and intriguing.

Throughout dinner, Ireland is very considerate towards me. He starts off dinner by saying, "This is your night, so order whatever you want and tell me whatever you need." He also consistently moves things out of my way, makes sure I get to taste everything, and even when I drop a piece of ice cream on my side of the table, he wipes it down because "I don't want your hair to accidentally fall into it." What I also like about Ireland is how much his friends care about him. For Christmas, his friend's girlfriend bought him a flat screen TV. Throughout the night, his friends and texting him to see how things are going. His roommate had already told Ireland's mom about me the night after we met. We could all use a support system like that.

After dinner, Ireland helps me put on my coat and we head to a nearby bar as he holds my hand. I still don't feel butterflies but I like being in his company. It's kind of confusing. We sit down for a few drinks and laughs. I'm wondering if he expects us to have sex tonight. We do reminisce about the night we had sex 4 times and me not remembering any of it. Ireland says he would like to refresh my memory, I get a little nervous. But, alas, he is a gentleman and tells me he has to go to his friend's bar and I have already made plans for my gay bestie at our favorite bar. As we part ways, Ireland gives me a nice hug and peck on my lips.

I am thoroughly enjoying the moment but can't help but think about my date with Sporting Goods tomorrow.

Happy New Year! Now go fuck.

Happy New Year my friends! Hope 2010 brings us all happiness, good health, and fabulous new sex partners.