Mr. Elevator

Continued from the last entry...

I leave Mr. Pull-Out's room with every intention to go back to my room to sleep. I step into the elevator with tunnel vision, not paying attention to the other person. I'm actually wondering why the hell this person's up at 6:30am. All of a sudden, I hear in the hottest Australian accent, "Hey, are you hungry." I turn to my right, and leaning against the wall is a tall Aussie with big blue eyes, full (and separate) eyebrows, messy dirty blond hair, and a chiseled jawline. He's wearing a button down shirt tucked into fitted jeans, staring at me with a sultry yet "I party hard" look. In my head I'm thinking, "Am I hungry? No. When was the last time I orgasmed? I can't fucking remember." So I pretend to think about it for a second and say, "Yeah, let me go change my shoes." Ahhh, my second victim for the night, Mr. Elevator.

Elevator follows me to my room and waits outside. I go inside and tell my friends that I just picked up a guy in an elevator. Before I could even explain, I put on my flip flops and bolt for the door. As we walk to the elevator, I realize that I still have my panties in my clutch. Oh well, it'll be a nice surprise for him. The elevator door opens. OMG, the sister-in-law of the bride is in there. I'm in the exact same outfit as the night before at the wedding and she is seeing me go in with a guy who was obviously not at the wedding. And of course, we all get off on the same floor. I awkwardly say bye to her as she watches me go into this stranger's room. Classy.

We get into his room and introduce ourselves after making out for a bit. I find out that he's moving from Australia to LA. He turns on some music and pulls me up from the couch to dance. Elevator starts kissing my neck and all I can think about is if he can taste Mr. Pull-Out on my body. He takes my hands and leads me to bed. I am a little tired at this point so I say, "I thought we were just having breakfast." Elevator grabs the room service menu and I point to a fruit salad and half a grapefruit. After he orders, we engage in some pre-sex convo. Surprisingly, he is extremely witty and intelligent. I find out that he owns a web marketing company that optimizes search engine results for companies. I also find out that we're about the same age and that he's sick of meeting the typical air-headed LA blonde. "You're so different from any of the girls I met tonight. I can actually talk you." Elevator then makes his way to the bed and begins to unzip my dress (wow this dress has seen a lot of action tonight!). He makes his way down my thighs, then suddenly, there's a knock at the door. It's room service.

We eat our fruit and Elevator asks me if I have any requests for music. We both simultaneously say "How about Jason Mraz". Weird. He starts playing some JM while I feed him some pineapples. It's all very tropical feeling, like in "How Stella Got Her Groove Back." He then takes the fruit tray away and comes back onto the bed to finish what he started. At this point, I've already figured out every guy's' formula. 1) Caress inner thighs. 2) Gently brush against the vagina outside of panties (in my case, no panties, so just direct contact. Bold). 3) Use free hand to caress the breasts until nipples are hard. 4) Squeeze breasts while penetrating with fingers. 5) Suck on nipples until girl gets in ready position. Formula works every time. Men have it so easy.

Elevator takes off his clothes and reveals a jaw-dropping body. Rippled abs and athletic arms, oh my! If he isn't a soccer player, he could definitely pass as one. His penis is long and very erect. How did I become so lucky to have 2 hot bodies in one night?! I turn to face him and ask him for protection. He nods and immediately grabs a condom from his bed post, rips it open, and puts it on in one smooth motion. Wow, I am both impressed by his efficiency and disgusted by his too-familiar routine. He must have had a fuckathon himself.

He spreads my legs and smoothly penetrates me. I scream in ecstasy and also relief. It has been too long! Elevator truly lives up to his name by firmly staying up. I ask to ride him (I can always come this way). He lifts me up and flips me onto him. I start riding him intensely and come almost immediately. Mmmmmm, momma needed this. Elevator is still hard but he pulls out anyway after knowing I came. How nice of him. We finish eating some fruit and now he wants an egg benedict. He puts in his order and starts back up again by guiding me flat onto my stomach with my legs closed, and penetrates from behind. Then, he twists me to my right so I'm on my side and my legs tangled. Wow, this is new, I got a Kama Sutra professor here. By now, this all feels good and dandy, but I know I can't come again. So, I pull away and he comes almost on cue. 

We talk some more about what kind of food we like eat. He tells me funny stores of his travels around the world. We share the same views about relationships, marriage, and commitment. Only difference is, he wants kids and I don't. Elevator says he's always wanted a son. We then talk about how he just got out of a 2.5 year relationship, his longest ever. He is so unlike anything I've ever met before. I'm digging this guy and it's dangerous. Suddenly, we hear the door open. Elevator bolts up, puts the room service menu over his penis, and says "wait wait wait." It's his friend. They whisper and chuckle outside. I'm sure it went something like this, "I picked up a girl in the elevator..." He comes back into the room with a bottle of vodka. Random.

A minute later, room service is here again. Elevator doesn't care to put on clothes. He again hides his wanker with the menu and answers the door. All I hear is, "Hi sir, here's the food you ordered...oh, um, you think you'll be able to carry it with one hand? OK, you got it? Be careful. Thanks sir. Enjoy and have fun." He sets it down onto the bed and digs in. We take bets on this mysterious looking thing on his plate. He proposes, "If I'm right, we have sex now. If you're right, we have sex in 30 minutes." This guy is the energizer bunny; it's tiring me out just thinking about it. His wit continues to win me over as our conversation progresses. He's so funny that I have no witty responses. Usually, I am good at flirty banter, but this bloke is so charming, I am speechless.

Elevator pushes the tray aside and comes next to me in bed. He's ready to go again. I tell him I'm amazed by his stamina. "But I have an attractive woman in my bed, can you blame me?" Nice one, mate. I complain that I am too tired and I fall asleep in his arms.

It's 9:30am, I wake up and decide I need to go back to my room. I get up and fumble around for a minute. Elevator wakes up and says, "Are you leaving me your number?" Me: "Oh, you didn't ask for it." El: "So you just wanted it to be a one time thing?" Me: "Well, no. Let's hang out again. Here's my number." I kiss good bye and leave.

The elevator opens, one of the groomsmen who had hit on me the night before is standing there. "I see you're still in the same outfit, huh? Walk of shame?" Me: "No, nothing like that."

What was it with me and elevators today?!